Send A Disciple: A True Story

I'm sure you're fimiliar with the hymn "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms". I am too. In fact, the song inspires this story. This may make you cry. Remember as you're reading along: this story is 100% TRUE.

I have an online friend (who's name shall not be mentioned - he asked for privacy-, so I will call him Jay.) He is gay, like me. We both share similar backgrounds.

Jay was raised in a small town. I was too. We both come from a family that believes homosexuality is wrong. We were shut up in closets and having to lie about who we were. It hurt us both so bad, we thought death was the only way out.

I got through with the tough trials, praying and praying that God would deliver me from this Hell I was in. After my parents found out, I was sent to an ex-gay ministry. I thought God was telling me this was the way out. In my last post, I stated that Satan will deceive us. That was one time he deceived me. The ex-gay ministry only made matters worse!

After fighting what seemed to be World War III with my family, things calmed down.

I once received an email from my Granny that angels can be very busy, so God uses us to help others in need. Well, this is what happened to me. This is Jay's story:

Jay was battling in his mind and soul to have a family and be married. He says that makes him angry... he wishes that he weren't gay. He once thought death was the only way out. He prayed that God would send someone to him to help him out, to love and to encourage him, to support him. This was at a time when he didn't really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and when he felt his heart was black and cold. He prayed that God would send someone before it was too late. Jay says in his own words to me: "God has done a lot for you... and me, more than I deserve at least. You, as a Disciple of Christ has touched my heart and I'm sure many others. When things get bad, go and do as I did... pray that God sends you a disciple."

What had happened was that I sent Jay the link to my last post "Who's Calling?" and he commented on how well I write, and told me that that post was true. This was one of my emails:

Thanks... I have a huge talent for writing. In fact, I'm writing a book now! I know the tough situation you're in. I was there. You can get out of it like I did. Maybe another way out. All I know is death is not the answer. PRAY Jay, Pray! God will answer your call. He has a plan and it will work out. God can't make mistakes remember? He made us gay for a reason, don't ingore His calling for you. He listens. Why don't you listen in return? Never say you wish you were straight, because you are beautiful and God made you perfectly with His hands. It's Satan that deceives, and Satan will try to make you think the wrong things. If you feel guilty about being gay.. PRAY! Do you want God to guide you out of this mess you're in right now? If yes, pray with complete faith, and be ready for whatever God tells you to do. Yes, negative things will happen if and when you come out, but there will be more positive things in the end. Remember, it gets ugly before it gets pretty. Your reward awaits you!

Jay responds:
Good Lord, your deep (in a good way). Right now, I have to stay on the path I'm on (staying in the closet). So far, I'm happy with the way things are going, but if anyone were to find out, the outcome could not be predicted. The only thing that keeps me going is that when I die, it will not be the end, but a wondrous beginning. So don't worry, I'll be okay. We just have to take different roads in life, so long as they lead to heaven...

I respond:
You're right. If God planned us to be friends, we will be UNITED in heaven [cries]. Yeah, God's been good to us. Always remember that you are safe in God's hands. I have your back, but we can only rest on Jesus's Everlasting Arms. Like the Hymn goes, SAFE AND SECURE FROM ALL ALARMS, LEANING ON THE EVERLASTING ARMS. It's a blessing to call the Savior mine. I'm am so crying right now because of how good the Lord's been to us, and knowing that we both have Him and each other and that we are all one big bond... who's stregnth cannot be broken. How do you feel? Have I impacted your life spiritually? It looks like it.

(This is when Jay tells me about how I possibly stepped into His life).

I respond (to the part about sending and praying for a disciple):
He has, and He still will. The same goes for you. God sent His son to die, and we didn't deserve it. But God loves us so much, He gives us what we need. You know, I once got an email talking about angels. Sometimes angels are so busy that God sends someone like us to take care of someone. I was one of those people who was sent into your life. We both have been touched by the hands of God.

So I pray in endless thanks that I have stepped into someone's life because of God. I also pray that God sends me a disciple when the times are rough. In fact, God has already sent me loads of disciples:
-My Grandmother: Ruth Phillips
-My Psychologist and personal friend: Ondine Gross
-My Parents: Craig & Tammy
-My sister: Victoria
and so many others!!!


When the times get rough for you: pray that God sends you a disciple. God sends anyone to anyone... whether it's for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

PRAYER: O patient and Heavenly Father, help us to remember your plan and will has no mistakes. Help us to remember that you have sent your main disciple: Jesus Christ. We ask that when the times get rough for us, send us a disciple. Not only send us a disciple, but send us as a disciple to help others in need. Let us do this in your name. Amen.

Who's Calling?

Ring, Ring... Ring, Ring... Some people get sick of their phones ringing all the time, so sick that they're about to pull the wires out of the wall! I hope you don't do that... that would just cut you off from communication if there's an emergency.

Well, how will this work? In one of my previous blog posts, I said that prayer was like making a telephone call, and God would answer on the other end of the line. But we don't always make the phone calls. Sometimes, God calls us too! Sometimes we pick up the receiver, but we don't always listen to who's on the phone. God's calling. Are you gonna answer... and listen? Or are you one of those hard-heads who'll pick up the receiver and not listen. Maybe you'll do this thinking it's junk calling: picking up the receiver and slamming it right back down without saying a word!?

Some of you don't want anything to do with God. You'll slam the receiver down cutting off your comminication with God... or at least trying to. But hey, the line's always open! Even if you hate God, He loves you. He's not giving up, even when you're still running away.

Jesus is the phone line! Pick it up, dial 1-800-2HE-AVEN and God'll pick up the phone. Talk to him. This is one of the reasons He sent his only son to die: so that you can talk to the father (JOHN 14:6 - Jesus answered: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.").

But don't just make the calls... answer calls too! Even if you don't love him, I hope one day you realize how much He loves you. I do hope you understand that He's trying to speak to you, and I hope you answer the calls He makes to you. Listen to the voice of the Spirit... the Holy Spirit. You can ask who's calling you, but the answer remains the same... God is calling.

Emmanuel: God With Us

God says: “I give you wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:30). How then, can we be wrong if we spent hours on end praying with complete faith (ready for whatever the answer may be), if God will fill our dumbness with wisdom? For the God I know is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-mighty…the Great Jehovah.

If we can’t figure things out, He will direct our steps (Proverbs 3:5-6). If we think we can’t do it, we can do ALL things (Philippians 4:13).

I am God’s creation. I am His child. Many times, little children go to their mommies and daddies asking hundreds of questions. The same relationship happens with all of us today. God is the adult, we are the little children. When I have questions, I go to the adult (God) and the only road to the adult is God’s son, Jesus Christ.

Today, I still stand in a war, fighting for what I know is right. I can’t do it on my own, but with God, all things are possible (Luke 18:27). I am not able, but He is (2 Corinthians 9:8) So I know that if God is on my side, I am protected, and we win. If we win, all the glory and praise go to God. If we lose, all the glory and praise still go to God.

There are at times (especially in the past!) when I feel that I am alone and that no one loves me. I know that is not true, and it will NEVER be true because God loves me UNCONDITIONALLY (John 3:1-6 and John 3:34). And I am not alone, as many people feel the same way and have experienced the same situations. But Jesus is our EMMANUEL… God With Us. He will never leave or forsake us. He hears us and sees us at all times (Hebrews 13:5).

We say we can’t carry on and that we are too tired. The truth is, we can carry on because God’s grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9 and Psalm 91:15). We shouldn’t even be tired because He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

I’ve had people tell me that I am wasting my time for what I stand up for. They say it’s not worth it. God says the exact opposite. He says it will be worth it (Romans 8:28).

I may not be able to manage this storm I’m in, but God will supply all that I need (Philippians 4:19). I may be worried or frustrated about how this will turn out; but it’s in God hands, for He says “cast your cares out on ME.” (1 Peter 5:7). I may feel afraid of my enemies sometimes, but God tells us not fear, for He is here to protect us. And He has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

There is a possibility and I am sinning, but I doubt that because I feel God guiding me. If I am telling the truth and living the truth, God is working in me. If I am wrong, I won’t be able to forgive myself; but I have no worries because I know that God will forgive me (1 John 1:1 and Romans 8:1).

God is with me, He guides me, He comforts me, He gives me wisdom, He is Emmanuel…