I'm sure you're fimiliar with the hymn "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms". I am too. In fact, the song inspires this story. This may make you cry. Remember as you're reading along: this story is 100% TRUE.
I have an online friend (who's name shall not be mentioned - he asked for privacy-, so I will call him Jay.) He is gay, like me. We both share similar backgrounds.
Jay was raised in a small town. I was too. We both come from a family that believes homosexuality is wrong. We were shut up in closets and having to lie about who we were. It hurt us both so bad, we thought death was the only way out.
I got through with the tough trials, praying and praying that God would deliver me from this Hell I was in. After my parents found out, I was sent to an ex-gay ministry. I thought God was telling me this was the way out. In my last post, I stated that Satan will deceive us. That was one time he deceived me. The ex-gay ministry only made matters worse!
After fighting what seemed to be World War III with my family, things calmed down.
I once received an email from my Granny that angels can be very busy, so God uses us to help others in need. Well, this is what happened to me. This is Jay's story:
Jay was battling in his mind and soul to have a family and be married. He says that makes him angry... he wishes that he weren't gay. He once thought death was the only way out. He prayed that God would send someone to him to help him out, to love and to encourage him, to support him. This was at a time when he didn't really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and when he felt his heart was black and cold. He prayed that God would send someone before it was too late. Jay says in his own words to me: "God has done a lot for you... and me, more than I deserve at least. You, as a Disciple of Christ has touched my heart and I'm sure many others. When things get bad, go and do as I did... pray that God sends you a disciple."
What had happened was that I sent Jay the link to my last post "Who's Calling?" and he commented on how well I write, and told me that that post was true. This was one of my emails:
Thanks... I have a huge talent for writing. In fact, I'm writing a book now! I know the tough situation you're in. I was there. You can get out of it like I did. Maybe another way out. All I know is death is not the answer. PRAY Jay, Pray! God will answer your call. He has a plan and it will work out. God can't make mistakes remember? He made us gay for a reason, don't ingore His calling for you. He listens. Why don't you listen in return? Never say you wish you were straight, because you are beautiful and God made you perfectly with His hands. It's Satan that deceives, and Satan will try to make you think the wrong things. If you feel guilty about being gay.. PRAY! Do you want God to guide you out of this mess you're in right now? If yes, pray with complete faith, and be ready for whatever God tells you to do. Yes, negative things will happen if and when you come out, but there will be more positive things in the end. Remember, it gets ugly before it gets pretty. Your reward awaits you!
Jay responds:
Good Lord, your deep (in a good way). Right now, I have to stay on the path I'm on (staying in the closet). So far, I'm happy with the way things are going, but if anyone were to find out, the outcome could not be predicted. The only thing that keeps me going is that when I die, it will not be the end, but a wondrous beginning. So don't worry, I'll be okay. We just have to take different roads in life, so long as they lead to heaven...
I respond:
You're right. If God planned us to be friends, we will be UNITED in heaven [cries]. Yeah, God's been good to us. Always remember that you are safe in God's hands. I have your back, but we can only rest on Jesus's Everlasting Arms. Like the Hymn goes, SAFE AND SECURE FROM ALL ALARMS, LEANING ON THE EVERLASTING ARMS. It's a blessing to call the Savior mine. I'm am so crying right now because of how good the Lord's been to us, and knowing that we both have Him and each other and that we are all one big bond... who's stregnth cannot be broken. How do you feel? Have I impacted your life spiritually? It looks like it.
(This is when Jay tells me about how I possibly stepped into His life).
I respond (to the part about sending and praying for a disciple):
He has, and He still will. The same goes for you. God sent His son to die, and we didn't deserve it. But God loves us so much, He gives us what we need. You know, I once got an email talking about angels. Sometimes angels are so busy that God sends someone like us to take care of someone. I was one of those people who was sent into your life. We both have been touched by the hands of God.
So I pray in endless thanks that I have stepped into someone's life because of God. I also pray that God sends me a disciple when the times are rough. In fact, God has already sent me loads of disciples:
-My Grandmother: Ruth Phillips
-My Psychologist and personal friend: Ondine Gross
-My Parents: Craig & Tammy
-My sister: Victoria
and so many others!!!
When the times get rough for you: pray that God sends you a disciple. God sends anyone to anyone... whether it's for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
PRAYER: O patient and Heavenly Father, help us to remember your plan and will has no mistakes. Help us to remember that you have sent your main disciple: Jesus Christ. We ask that when the times get rough for us, send us a disciple. Not only send us a disciple, but send us as a disciple to help others in need. Let us do this in your name. Amen.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Who's Calling?
Ring, Ring... Ring, Ring... Some people get sick of their phones ringing all the time, so sick that they're about to pull the wires out of the wall! I hope you don't do that... that would just cut you off from communication if there's an emergency.
Well, how will this work? In one of my previous blog posts, I said that prayer was like making a telephone call, and God would answer on the other end of the line. But we don't always make the phone calls. Sometimes, God calls us too! Sometimes we pick up the receiver, but we don't always listen to who's on the phone. God's calling. Are you gonna answer... and listen? Or are you one of those hard-heads who'll pick up the receiver and not listen. Maybe you'll do this thinking it's junk calling: picking up the receiver and slamming it right back down without saying a word!?
Some of you don't want anything to do with God. You'll slam the receiver down cutting off your comminication with God... or at least trying to. But hey, the line's always open! Even if you hate God, He loves you. He's not giving up, even when you're still running away.
Jesus is the phone line! Pick it up, dial 1-800-2HE-AVEN and God'll pick up the phone. Talk to him. This is one of the reasons He sent his only son to die: so that you can talk to the father (JOHN 14:6 - Jesus answered: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.").
But don't just make the calls... answer calls too! Even if you don't love him, I hope one day you realize how much He loves you. I do hope you understand that He's trying to speak to you, and I hope you answer the calls He makes to you. Listen to the voice of the Spirit... the Holy Spirit. You can ask who's calling you, but the answer remains the same... God is calling.
Well, how will this work? In one of my previous blog posts, I said that prayer was like making a telephone call, and God would answer on the other end of the line. But we don't always make the phone calls. Sometimes, God calls us too! Sometimes we pick up the receiver, but we don't always listen to who's on the phone. God's calling. Are you gonna answer... and listen? Or are you one of those hard-heads who'll pick up the receiver and not listen. Maybe you'll do this thinking it's junk calling: picking up the receiver and slamming it right back down without saying a word!?
Some of you don't want anything to do with God. You'll slam the receiver down cutting off your comminication with God... or at least trying to. But hey, the line's always open! Even if you hate God, He loves you. He's not giving up, even when you're still running away.
Jesus is the phone line! Pick it up, dial 1-800-2HE-AVEN and God'll pick up the phone. Talk to him. This is one of the reasons He sent his only son to die: so that you can talk to the father (JOHN 14:6 - Jesus answered: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.").
But don't just make the calls... answer calls too! Even if you don't love him, I hope one day you realize how much He loves you. I do hope you understand that He's trying to speak to you, and I hope you answer the calls He makes to you. Listen to the voice of the Spirit... the Holy Spirit. You can ask who's calling you, but the answer remains the same... God is calling.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Emmanuel: God With Us
God says: “I give you wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:30). How then, can we be wrong if we spent hours on end praying with complete faith (ready for whatever the answer may be), if God will fill our dumbness with wisdom? For the God I know is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-mighty…the Great Jehovah.
If we can’t figure things out, He will direct our steps (Proverbs 3:5-6). If we think we can’t do it, we can do ALL things (Philippians 4:13).
I am God’s creation. I am His child. Many times, little children go to their mommies and daddies asking hundreds of questions. The same relationship happens with all of us today. God is the adult, we are the little children. When I have questions, I go to the adult (God) and the only road to the adult is God’s son, Jesus Christ.
Today, I still stand in a war, fighting for what I know is right. I can’t do it on my own, but with God, all things are possible (Luke 18:27). I am not able, but He is (2 Corinthians 9:8) So I know that if God is on my side, I am protected, and we win. If we win, all the glory and praise go to God. If we lose, all the glory and praise still go to God.
There are at times (especially in the past!) when I feel that I am alone and that no one loves me. I know that is not true, and it will NEVER be true because God loves me UNCONDITIONALLY (John 3:1-6 and John 3:34). And I am not alone, as many people feel the same way and have experienced the same situations. But Jesus is our EMMANUEL… God With Us. He will never leave or forsake us. He hears us and sees us at all times (Hebrews 13:5).
We say we can’t carry on and that we are too tired. The truth is, we can carry on because God’s grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9 and Psalm 91:15). We shouldn’t even be tired because He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28-30).
I’ve had people tell me that I am wasting my time for what I stand up for. They say it’s not worth it. God says the exact opposite. He says it will be worth it (Romans 8:28).
I may not be able to manage this storm I’m in, but God will supply all that I need (Philippians 4:19). I may be worried or frustrated about how this will turn out; but it’s in God hands, for He says “cast your cares out on ME.” (1 Peter 5:7). I may feel afraid of my enemies sometimes, but God tells us not fear, for He is here to protect us. And He has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).
There is a possibility and I am sinning, but I doubt that because I feel God guiding me. If I am telling the truth and living the truth, God is working in me. If I am wrong, I won’t be able to forgive myself; but I have no worries because I know that God will forgive me (1 John 1:1 and Romans 8:1).
God is with me, He guides me, He comforts me, He gives me wisdom, He is Emmanuel…
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Gift From A Total Stranger
Today, I received a gift from a total stranger. That gift was the NIV Student Bible from Zondervan.
I had asked a question on Yahoo Answers asking if there were any sites offering free Bibles. And David, a total stranger, told me he would mail me a Bible. So very cautiously, I emailed him my name and my address, praying I didn't make a grave mistake.
2 days later, the Bible showed up in my mailbox, with a personalized letter AND the Bible itself had my name put on it. Hands down, this is the best gift I have ever received from a stranger.
When I looked at the Bible, I thought "This must be an expensive Bible!" Still, God used someone to give a gracious, loving gift. David had no clue who I was, and gave me one of the best gifts you could ever get: The word and the love of God.
God put us here to worship him. He put us here to witness. That includes loving your neighbor as yourself and giving loving gifts, even to people you don't know at all. David just happened to be one of those loving people. He has truly made my day. I pray that he continues to do this, and I pray that God will bless him and give him his reward on that final day.
I will forever keep the letter and the Bible, for I want it to be a memory. I also want it to be a lesson that God has taught me: "Love your neighbor as yourself and give loving gifts, even to those whom you do not know."
I had asked a question on Yahoo Answers asking if there were any sites offering free Bibles. And David, a total stranger, told me he would mail me a Bible. So very cautiously, I emailed him my name and my address, praying I didn't make a grave mistake.
2 days later, the Bible showed up in my mailbox, with a personalized letter AND the Bible itself had my name put on it. Hands down, this is the best gift I have ever received from a stranger.
When I looked at the Bible, I thought "This must be an expensive Bible!" Still, God used someone to give a gracious, loving gift. David had no clue who I was, and gave me one of the best gifts you could ever get: The word and the love of God.
God put us here to worship him. He put us here to witness. That includes loving your neighbor as yourself and giving loving gifts, even to people you don't know at all. David just happened to be one of those loving people. He has truly made my day. I pray that he continues to do this, and I pray that God will bless him and give him his reward on that final day.
I will forever keep the letter and the Bible, for I want it to be a memory. I also want it to be a lesson that God has taught me: "Love your neighbor as yourself and give loving gifts, even to those whom you do not know."
Friday, November 14, 2008
From Baptism to United Methodism
I have had several people asking me why I changed my faith. I say to them "Huh?!" They respond by stating "Well, you went from a Baptist church to a United Methodist church!"
That does not mean that I changed my faith. That means I renewed it in the Lord Jesus Christ and He has guided me to a better place. BUT, the church is not a building; it is the people who gathered together in the Body of Christ.
Quite a few people have asked why I go to another church. There a several reasons why. One is that my church (Faith United Methodist) is a very relaxed, and an open church. This is what the people of the United Methodist Church are:
-Open to different views... OPEN MINDS
-Welcoming of ALL (LGBTQ or Straight, Black or White, Couples or Singles, etc.)... OPEN HEARTS
-You are free to walk in as who you are. You are free to worship your savior, your maker, and His Holy Spirit... OPEN DOORS
-We are the people of God and His Church... THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED METODIST CHURCH
I never changed my faith, but renewed it. See my last post "Forged In Flame..." I stand and welcome all views and I stand an welcome all people without trying to change their views and ways. This is the Godly, Christian way. This is what a church must be, in order to be the Body of Christ and a temple for the Holy Spirit.
OPEN HEARTS... OPEN MINDS... OPEN DOORS... THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
That does not mean that I changed my faith. That means I renewed it in the Lord Jesus Christ and He has guided me to a better place. BUT, the church is not a building; it is the people who gathered together in the Body of Christ.
Quite a few people have asked why I go to another church. There a several reasons why. One is that my church (Faith United Methodist) is a very relaxed, and an open church. This is what the people of the United Methodist Church are:
-Open to different views... OPEN MINDS
-Welcoming of ALL (LGBTQ or Straight, Black or White, Couples or Singles, etc.)... OPEN HEARTS
-You are free to walk in as who you are. You are free to worship your savior, your maker, and His Holy Spirit... OPEN DOORS
-We are the people of God and His Church... THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED METODIST CHURCH
I never changed my faith, but renewed it. See my last post "Forged In Flame..." I stand and welcome all views and I stand an welcome all people without trying to change their views and ways. This is the Godly, Christian way. This is what a church must be, in order to be the Body of Christ and a temple for the Holy Spirit.
OPEN HEARTS... OPEN MINDS... OPEN DOORS... THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
Forged In Flame...
I was little boy that was deeply into Pokemon and Tom and Jerry, and even Scooby-Doo. Now that's a typical little 5-6 year old boy. Wouldn't you think?
Yes, I'm still a minor to the law. I'm only 16. However, it is normal for a typical 16-17 year old to start getting their own views on life and their own religious views. Some teen drop away from religion. Some still go to the same church as their parents. Some go to a different church but same denomination. I am going to a different church with a different denomination.
I was raised (in childhood) as a Southern Baptist Christian. But starting in my teen years, I started to draw away from the Southern Baptist Church. I thought I was losing interest in going to church, and maybe even God.
Not true! I found that I was being called to a better place and better church. Even a better denomination... UNITED METHODIST.
My parents are struggling with that little boy image they hold so tight. Any parent has that issue. But I'm not that little boy anymore. I'm a young man who's only a couple years away from actually making my own decisions.
Religion is a big part of my life! Since I started going to the United Methodist church, I been wanting to spend the biggest majority of my weekend at church. I'm extremely involved!
Not only has my move into Champaign been a big help for the family, but it's been a big help for me personally. I get my support from my school and GSA, plus I'm able to go to church almost anytime I feel like it! This has brought me to a closer relationship with God!
The cross and the flame you see on signs of the United Methodist churches: the flame means the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit keeps guiding me, and guiding me now more than ever. With this, I have been forged in flame and born again in Jesus Christ. I live in and for Him, and I dwell in His house forever.
Yes, I'm still a minor to the law. I'm only 16. However, it is normal for a typical 16-17 year old to start getting their own views on life and their own religious views. Some teen drop away from religion. Some still go to the same church as their parents. Some go to a different church but same denomination. I am going to a different church with a different denomination.
I was raised (in childhood) as a Southern Baptist Christian. But starting in my teen years, I started to draw away from the Southern Baptist Church. I thought I was losing interest in going to church, and maybe even God.
Not true! I found that I was being called to a better place and better church. Even a better denomination... UNITED METHODIST.
My parents are struggling with that little boy image they hold so tight. Any parent has that issue. But I'm not that little boy anymore. I'm a young man who's only a couple years away from actually making my own decisions.
Religion is a big part of my life! Since I started going to the United Methodist church, I been wanting to spend the biggest majority of my weekend at church. I'm extremely involved!
Not only has my move into Champaign been a big help for the family, but it's been a big help for me personally. I get my support from my school and GSA, plus I'm able to go to church almost anytime I feel like it! This has brought me to a closer relationship with God!
The cross and the flame you see on signs of the United Methodist churches: the flame means the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit keeps guiding me, and guiding me now more than ever. With this, I have been forged in flame and born again in Jesus Christ. I live in and for Him, and I dwell in His house forever.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Art of Me
My primary pastor: Brad, of my church, gave a sermon called the Art Of Me. He states that we are like lego people.
To me, we are lego people. God made us. And everytime we sin, some of our lego fall off our structure. Jesus died so he could restore us back to our "brand new factory" condition. He takes the legos that have fallen off, and puts them back to the place they belong (and yes, Brad, I'm still carrying that lego block in my pocket!). Read Isaiah 1:18.
God made us as we are. Before our time began, our lives were in His hands. Read Isaiah 45:12.
I pray when things are going wrong. That's how I've managed to escape suicide temptation, and other bad things. I trust Him when to answer me and any will of His. Read 1 Chronicles 5:20.
It is true that God doesn't cause all things to happen. Even when things are out of our control. When you are overloaded, bent out of shape, your lego structure starts to callapse: PRAY! God will restore you to that "brand new factory" condition.
To me, we are lego people. God made us. And everytime we sin, some of our lego fall off our structure. Jesus died so he could restore us back to our "brand new factory" condition. He takes the legos that have fallen off, and puts them back to the place they belong (and yes, Brad, I'm still carrying that lego block in my pocket!). Read Isaiah 1:18.
God made us as we are. Before our time began, our lives were in His hands. Read Isaiah 45:12.
I pray when things are going wrong. That's how I've managed to escape suicide temptation, and other bad things. I trust Him when to answer me and any will of His. Read 1 Chronicles 5:20.
It is true that God doesn't cause all things to happen. Even when things are out of our control. When you are overloaded, bent out of shape, your lego structure starts to callapse: PRAY! God will restore you to that "brand new factory" condition.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Like Jesus: Damnation Before Acceptance...
Feel alone? Feel scared or rejected? Remember this: you are NOT alone.
Jesus was rejected. He was human, but fully devine. He was an innocent man, yet He was crucified. He became sinned who knew no sin... all that we might become His righteousness.
The same thing happens in life today. When my family found out I was gay, they were not accepting of it. Things were that way for over a year. Then, with the grace of God, the family has been educated, and they now accept me for who I am, and not who they think I should be.
Yes, my family still believes homosexuality is a sin. BUT, they accept me and understand that I believe different and that I have a different view on life (Just like they are Southern Baptists and I am a United Methodist!).
My family is like a doughnut. When you look at it, we look like a doughtnut, with a nice-size bite taken out of it. I was the piece that was bitten off, and the family was the remaining part of the doughnut! Now isn't that funny and wierd?
Like Jesus, I was damned; then I was widely accepted by my friends and family. This was a valueable lesson for me. I hope it is for you. In life, you are damned before you are accepted.
So if you feel like letting go of this life (like I did before), just HOLD ON EVEN TIGHTER! Because it will get better sometime. In life, you are damned before you are accepted.
Jesus was rejected. He was human, but fully devine. He was an innocent man, yet He was crucified. He became sinned who knew no sin... all that we might become His righteousness.
The same thing happens in life today. When my family found out I was gay, they were not accepting of it. Things were that way for over a year. Then, with the grace of God, the family has been educated, and they now accept me for who I am, and not who they think I should be.
Yes, my family still believes homosexuality is a sin. BUT, they accept me and understand that I believe different and that I have a different view on life (Just like they are Southern Baptists and I am a United Methodist!).
My family is like a doughnut. When you look at it, we look like a doughtnut, with a nice-size bite taken out of it. I was the piece that was bitten off, and the family was the remaining part of the doughnut! Now isn't that funny and wierd?
Like Jesus, I was damned; then I was widely accepted by my friends and family. This was a valueable lesson for me. I hope it is for you. In life, you are damned before you are accepted.
So if you feel like letting go of this life (like I did before), just HOLD ON EVEN TIGHTER! Because it will get better sometime. In life, you are damned before you are accepted.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Power of Prayer...
So many people think that prayer doesn't work. God is all-knowing, so He knows what's best for you. He answers all prayers: but since He knows what's best, sometimes the answer is yes or no, and sometimes He tells us to wait.
When I was a baby, I almost died. My mother almost died. But because of prayer, we are both alive. My friend, Tina Cowsert, had breast cancer (or so we thought), and the doctors told her wrong (she does NOT have breast cancer). That was because of prayer. I kept asking for God's guidance, and getting the family to accept me as a gay guy (even if they didn't believe what I did, that they accept me and accept that I believe different). The family did accept me in the long run. That was because of prayer.
God knows what's happening. He is not ingnoring you. He knows what's best! For if you trust Him with all your heart, he will answer you (1 Chronicles 5:20).
When you trust Him, that's called faith. And we, as Christians, should live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Prayer works. God works. God listens and answers. God has FAITH in you. Do you have the heart and the FAITH for him?
When things go wrong, don't blame anyone, but pray. Faith is the foundation of prayer. Prayer is like making a telephone call, and guess who's gonna answer the phone: God.
When I was a baby, I almost died. My mother almost died. But because of prayer, we are both alive. My friend, Tina Cowsert, had breast cancer (or so we thought), and the doctors told her wrong (she does NOT have breast cancer). That was because of prayer. I kept asking for God's guidance, and getting the family to accept me as a gay guy (even if they didn't believe what I did, that they accept me and accept that I believe different). The family did accept me in the long run. That was because of prayer.
God knows what's happening. He is not ingnoring you. He knows what's best! For if you trust Him with all your heart, he will answer you (1 Chronicles 5:20).
When you trust Him, that's called faith. And we, as Christians, should live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Prayer works. God works. God listens and answers. God has FAITH in you. Do you have the heart and the FAITH for him?
When things go wrong, don't blame anyone, but pray. Faith is the foundation of prayer. Prayer is like making a telephone call, and guess who's gonna answer the phone: God.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Learning How To Say "I Love You" and Mean It
The night of November 6th, 2008, my parents and I have had a long discussion. Everybody was concerned that I might try to hurt or kill myself in some way. There had been moments when I thought so myself. But after them finding out, home life began to change. I had even signed a contract and vowed to never harm myself.
The family would not accept my homosexuality. I don't think they will ever agree with it, but I do think that they will come to terms and realize that being gay is just PART of me. I am a teen. I am a rock music fanatic. I am gay. I am NOT a gay, rock music-fanatic teen, but I AM a teenager that loves rock music who is gay. They will most likely always believe homosexuality is a sin. But they are beginning to break through the barrier and seeing that I believe different, and that I have different view on life. If they are coming to terms, they will see and they will love me for me, regardless of our different opinions.
Tonight (November 7th, 2008), my family will see my psychologist. They are getting help, as I am too. With tears of sorrow and tears of joy, my family has been learning how to say "I love you." They are forgetting how to say "I love you, but..." and they are learning how to say "I love you, period."
The family would not accept my homosexuality. I don't think they will ever agree with it, but I do think that they will come to terms and realize that being gay is just PART of me. I am a teen. I am a rock music fanatic. I am gay. I am NOT a gay, rock music-fanatic teen, but I AM a teenager that loves rock music who is gay. They will most likely always believe homosexuality is a sin. But they are beginning to break through the barrier and seeing that I believe different, and that I have different view on life. If they are coming to terms, they will see and they will love me for me, regardless of our different opinions.
Tonight (November 7th, 2008), my family will see my psychologist. They are getting help, as I am too. With tears of sorrow and tears of joy, my family has been learning how to say "I love you." They are forgetting how to say "I love you, but..." and they are learning how to say "I love you, period."
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Song, My Meaning, My Story
Creed has a song from their album Human Clay called "Wash Away Those Years" and it really relates to me and my life. This blog is very deep and strong, and some inputs may end up making you cry...
I will first put down all the lyrics. Then I will explain them.
"Wash Away Those Years"
She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns
She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged
As she lay lifeless
He stole her innocence
And this is how she carried on
This is how she carried on
Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this decadence
Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone
Remember you're not alone
For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean
===============================
I have been through both heaven and hell at home. I just can't get anybody at home to actually listen. Because of that, when I'm at home, I'm trapped in my own closet. Unable to speak... I try and all I get in return is yelling and screaming and CRUEL ANGER!!! Because of this, when something bothers me, I'm frightened to speak out. [cries] Sometimes, home life is Hell.
When I'm at school with my friends or in my Gay-Straight Alliance club, I fit in... I belong. There, I'm accepted for who I am. My friends don't try to make a straight out of me or throw Bible verses in my face. I wish, I cry, that my family was the same.
I'm not looking for understanding from my family, but acceptance. Life goes on. They can believe the way they do. I love my family so much, I just can't leave. But neither can I stay silent anymore. I'm speaking out, and need my voice to be heard. The world hears my voice. But the people that really matter, the ones closest to me DENY. Most of you don't know what its like to be rejected from your family.
The part of the song that says "I know this decadence is shared by millions. Remember you're not alone." really speaks to me. I know that I am not the only one with this problem. I know that I am not alone...
I will first put down all the lyrics. Then I will explain them.
"Wash Away Those Years"
She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns
She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged
As she lay lifeless
He stole her innocence
And this is how she carried on
This is how she carried on
Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this decadence
Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone
Remember you're not alone
For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean
===============================
I have been through both heaven and hell at home. I just can't get anybody at home to actually listen. Because of that, when I'm at home, I'm trapped in my own closet. Unable to speak... I try and all I get in return is yelling and screaming and CRUEL ANGER!!! Because of this, when something bothers me, I'm frightened to speak out. [cries] Sometimes, home life is Hell.
When I'm at school with my friends or in my Gay-Straight Alliance club, I fit in... I belong. There, I'm accepted for who I am. My friends don't try to make a straight out of me or throw Bible verses in my face. I wish, I cry, that my family was the same.
I'm not looking for understanding from my family, but acceptance. Life goes on. They can believe the way they do. I love my family so much, I just can't leave. But neither can I stay silent anymore. I'm speaking out, and need my voice to be heard. The world hears my voice. But the people that really matter, the ones closest to me DENY. Most of you don't know what its like to be rejected from your family.
The part of the song that says "I know this decadence is shared by millions. Remember you're not alone." really speaks to me. I know that I am not the only one with this problem. I know that I am not alone...
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