PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE

Well, I was in a relationship, and it didn’t work. He told me, and he thought that I’d be angry and so upset. I was a little surprised, but in truth, I took it calmly.

Someone would normally be angry and crying their eyes out. I know that with my girlfriend, Kasondra, she and I had our share of problems. But even after a couple of break-ups and reunions, she and I still continued to love one another. She now knows that I am gay. Even though she still wants a dating relationship, she wants me to be happy even more. True love wants the other to be happy.

Well, Ryan and I really love each other, but a relationship couldn’t work out. I may have lost a boyfriend, but I have not lost a true friend. Because I love him, I want him to be happy. I told him that if a relationship is meant to be, it would work out in the end.

My family also plays a huge role in my philosophy of love. They believed with every fiber of their being that homosexuality was wrong, and they ardently tried to change my sexual orientation. But their commitment to being loving parents is rock solid. They really love me, as I do them, and I can just see that they want me to be happy and they want what’s best for me in life. I think now they do understand that they can have grandchildren from me, it’s just the parents will be two dads. But that don’t matter. It’s love and love alone that makes a family.

I have been through enough experience, both joy and pain, to know this. It’s because of this that is making my relationships stronger. And slowly, but surely, making my family even stronger than what it has been before.

It’s not who they are that matters. What really matters is that you love one another. Even God told us that loving one another is the greatest commandment of them all.

Loving one another is hard work, and true love in all relationships takes a lot of courage.

Love Won Out

Tonight (January 24, 2009), my mother and I watched "Prayers For Bobby" on the Lifetime Channel. Both of us have cried. And what's remarkable is my story is almost like Bobby's only with a different ending.

In eighth grade, I was only out to one person, and he was my Social Studies teacher: David Collins. We had lunch often together so I could get support. We still remain best friends to this day. In ninth grade, I became so upset that I had to open up to someone. This was the first time I met Ondine Gross: my psychologist and personal friend. She was there through really rough times. She loaned me books, and I showed them to Brent Bagniefski, who at the time, was my Algebra 1 teacher. He's gay too. We are also best freinds and have lunch together at school at least once a week.

About a week after meeting Ondine, my parents found out I was gay. When this happened, I was told the same things: homosexuality is a sin. I believed it for awhile. I was sent to an ex-gay ministry. I became secretly depressed and almost commited suicide (suicide attempt one). My ex-gay "counselor" had teachings which were entirely wrong.

Even after rebelling against the ex-gay ministry, I was still fighting World War III with my family. I was born gay, I am gay, God never healed me because there was nothing wrong with me. I kept trying to tell my family this. I poured out my heart to them, and so did Bobby Griffith to his family.

Earlier today, I also watched "The Matthew Shepard Story". It is a sad story and it's true. Matthew Shepard was beaten to senseless by the butt of a foot-long pistol, and murdered.

After watching "Prayers For Bobby" with my mom, she told me that she doesn't ever want to lose me. No, she doesn't believe in the same biblical views as I do, but she accepts me and she loves me.

Jesus Christ gave his life for the world, he gave his life for someone else. God does tell us that we are supposed to be like Him, loving, caring, spreading the good news. Jesus gave His life for me, and like Him, I'd be willing to give my life so someone else might live. That's also making a sacrifice for Him.

I know that Matthew Shepard and Bobby Griffith will hear me when I say: "I love you both. your deaths have helped made this world a better place. Though some may treat your death in vain, I am not. You are innocent and perfect in God's eyes. He made you and there's nothing wrong with you. God has you in His keeping. I, along with your friends and family have you in our hearts."

Remember what Mary Griffith (the mosther of Bobby) said: "Before you say your Amens in your home or place of worship, remember that a child is listening."

My story did almost end like Bobby's, but praise God it didn't. Bobby Griffith and I share a similar story with a different ending.

I asked for acceptance, peace, and love. And because I trusted God, I receieved these things and more. MATTHEW 21:22 - "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." I have lived the last couple of years on this verse. I will continue doing so until the day I meet Jesus.

Because I've received acceptance, by believing I could receive it through prayer: there's only one explanation. I'm alive and well and it's only love... Love Won Out.

Baptism... Denominations.... What?!

"There are so many denominations! How do I know which one is right?" Well, that's up for you to decide, as long as you stick to the following:

-God is our Heavenly Father and our Creator
-Jesus is the Son of God and is our Savior
-Holy Spirit is active in the world today
-God is in Three Person, the Holy Trinity

If you believe this, then you are good to go. It doesn't matter what denomination you choose, because at the very root of it, we believe the same thing (what's listed above). God doesn't care how you worship, what methods your church uses. No. All God cares about is you putting him first and worshipping him.

The only main thing that differs in denominations mostly is how you do things. God doesn't care about that. You choose how you want to worship God. This is how you decide what denomination is right for you, just as long as they believe what is stated above (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or better known as Mormons, are not one of these churches).

The biggest arguement is over how you do baptism. People like the Baptists, for example, believe that the only valid form of Baptism is immersion. The bible does not read that, nor does God say it. Sprinkling someone with water is as valid as immersing someone in water. Water is water, no matter how you baptize with it. All God wants us to do is be baptized with water as a physical sign that He has baptized you with His spirit. Go with how you feel is best for you. If you feel that being baptized by immersion works best for you, be immersed! If you feel that sprinkling workes best for you, be sprinkled with water. Again, God does not care how you are baptized with water, but He does care how you are baptized with spirit. Only God can baptize you with Spirit, and He will do it how He pleases the first time.

Some churches believe that you need to be re-baptized when you join there church. The truth is, you don't. God is perfect in all His ways, and if He has already baptized you with spirit, He has done it how He pleased, and has done it right the first time. You don't need to be baptized again.

We should baptize infants. The Catholic, Orthodox, United Church of Christ, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and United Methodist Churches do (I am a United Methodist). We don't believe that baptizing infants save them from the fires of Hell, therefore, baptizing infants is NOT fire insurance. The baptism is sign of God's love. This is what one of my pastors has to say:

There is a story about two brothers who were riding in a horse and buggy into town. Suddenly the horse stopped and would not go further. The older brother got out, looked at the horse and said: “That’s one.” He then took a stick and hit the horse over the head, got back in the buggy and they went on. After a while the horse stopped again and the older brother got out, looked the horse right in the eye and said: “That’s two.” He then took a stick, hit it over the head and they went on. They went a bit further and the horse stopped again. The older brother got out of the buggy, looked the horse straight in the eye and said: “that’s three.” He then pulled out a gun and shot the horse.
The younger brother was absolutely aghast, and said to his brother, “Why did you do a stupid thing like that?” His brother looked him straight in the eye and said, “That’s one.”
Unfortunately, there are Christians--though you may not be one of them, and find it hard to believe they exist--who have adopted this kind of “three strikes and you’re out” theology. They harbor a firm belief in an angry god who has a “three strikes and you’re out” system of justice. These Christians are otherwise very good and decent people who worship, serve and pray to a humorless and angry god who eagerly waits for various excuses to damn people to hell. And so, if you haven’t been to church services in awhile, or you haven’t been giving as generously as you could, or God forbid, haven’t been baptized or joined the church, and you suffer untimely misfortune, well: “Three strikes, you’re out!”
This morning, on the occasion of Baptism of the Lord Sunday, I want to share with you the good news of a God who loves all of us, regardless of how many excuses we have in our past lives, regardless of whether or not we’ve used up all our chances to get our act together. The sign of the covenant that this God loves us regardless is found in the sign of baptism. We United Methodists, along with our fellow Catholic, Orthodox, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and United Church of Christ Christians baptize infants and children without their consent or understanding because we want to be assured, and we eventually want them to know once and for all--no matter what anybody else says or does--that God loves them for all eternity. Baptism is an indelible sign of God’s love, and a clear channel of God’s saving grace begun in us. As a sacrament, baptism is the outward and physical sign of an inward and spiritual grace, and the spiritual grace is God’s steadfast love. This sign has powerful implications for us to claim for ourselves and for those we love. But before we get further into what baptism does for us, let’s spend a moment on what baptism does not do.
One of the questions I have been asked over the years of my pastoral ministry about baptism has to do with an infant or child who suffers an untimely death before having been baptized. The question is simply: “Does that child go to hell?”
With respect to infants and children, I say this about baptism: from what we know about Jesus from the Gospels, Jesus loved children, and told his disciples not to hinder the children from coming to him, for to such as these, Jesus said, the kingdom of heaven belongs. (Mt. 19:14 et. al.) If the life and teachings of Jesus are the direct revelation of God’s will for us, then we know that God unconditionally loves children, whether they are baptized or not. You see, we don’t baptize infants and children to satisfy an angry god who gives us three strikes. Infants and children are baptized not for God’s sake, but for their sake and for our sake. WE are the ones who need to be reminded of God’s love for us, NOT God! So whether an infant or child is baptized or not, God loves them anyway, and they belong to the kingdom of heaven regardless.
Now that we’ve looked at what infant baptism is not, let’s remind ourselves of what it is. We United Methodist pastors encourage infants and children to be baptized at the earliest possible opportunity--not as “fire insurance” to save their souls from hell--but as a claim on their souls by the grace of God offered unconditionally through the act of baptism itself. You see, baptism is not something we do for ourselves, or even for each other. Baptism is something God does. God does a might work on us in the act of baptism which does not need repeating, ever. He begins a work of grace in us which guides us toward perfect love in our life journeys of faith. In the act of baptism, God establishes a covenant with us, which, although we break, and break continually, is always steadfast on God’s part--exactly the same covenant God made with Abraham and his people, and through Christ, makes with us. Baptism, then, is never performed by a person, not even a priest or pastor. We merely officiate. Baptism is performed through us as we preside by Jesus through the ministrations of God’s Holy Spirit. This is what is meant by being baptized both by water AND the Spirit. We use water by which to baptize, but in the act of baptism, Jesus uses the Spirit to initiate the covenant with the one receiving baptism, no matter how young they are. This is why, in the ritual for baptism, after the water is administered, the pastor says, “The Holy Spirit work within you, that being born through water and the Spirit, you may be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ.”
There are some traditions, mostly Baptist, who believe that one cannot become a Christian unless one has been baptized sometime after at the age of accountability (usually right after puberty), makes a public profession of faith in Christ, and undergoes baptism by full immersion. This is commonly referred to as “believer’s baptism”, and it has three pre-conditions: 1) You have to be of a certain age, 2) You have to understand the concept and profess allegiance to it, and 3) You have to submit to immersion. I have witnessed some great struggles over this issue both in inter-marriages and in extended families. Those who maintain that believer’s baptism by immersion is the only real baptism argue against those of us who believe that baptism, in whatever the form, and at whatever age the water is used--whether it is poured or sprinkled--is just as valid as immersion. By the way, we United Methodist pastors can perform baptism by immersion, too, so long as--and here’s the caveat--the candidate for baptism has not already been baptized by either sprinkling or pouring. I have officiated a few immersion baptisms, but on one occasion, I was lied to by the candidate who told me before the immersion that he didn’t remember having been previously baptized, but afterward, confessed with a wry grin that he had suffered a lapse in memory after all! But sprinkling versus immersion is a mighty struggle indeed. In some independent churches, immersion versus immersion is a mighty struggle, too!
There’s a true story about a seminary student who was called to be pastor of a little church in the mountains outside Louisville, Kentucky. The church leaders told him to be ready for a baptism on his first Sunday. This young, innocent seminary student was thrilled. "Gosh, I get to perform a baptism on my very first Sunday in the church," he thought. He knew this was a church that practiced baptism by immersion, but what he didn't know was that this was also a church which didn't recognize anybody's baptism but their own, not even baptisms by churches of their own denomination. Anybody who joined their church had to get re‑baptized. Unbeknownst to him, even though he was called to be pastor of the church, he was to be the candidate for baptism on his first Sunday there!
So, on the appointed day, the student arrived at the church and saw an elderly man waiting for him in the baptismal pool. The student thought, "Praise God, this old man has come to Jesus in his twilight years." The old man was actually a retired minister the church had secured to baptize their new preacher. The student stepped into the water, and both men took hold of each other. Each thinking he had to put the other one under the water for baptism they began to pull and tug on each other's extremities, and before long they were embroiled in a full‑scale wrestling match. It was a test of strength as well as a test of wills, dueling preachers thrashing about in the water, soaking each other without ever going under. Finally, in exasperation the retired minister jerked free of the student's grasp and growled, "Let go of me!" and the student got him in a headlock and plunged him beneath the water in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I wouldn’t ever be so naive as to think that I could change the mind of a devout Christian who believed only in immersion baptism. I wouldn’t even care to argue the point. But I would say to all of you: Baptism is not a sign of our devotion or commitment to Christ. Baptism is a sign of God’s devotion and commitment to us. And what God does in baptism, God does perfectly. It does not--it should not--be repeated. Renewed--yes, but repeated, absolutely NOT! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if somewhere later down the journey of life, someone you care about asks you to re-baptized by immersion, “just say No!”.
But how we respond to God’s work in us through baptism is another story, and another sermon! Suffice to say that our response to our baptism is life-long. We are not “saved” when we are baptized, but we are marked--branded if you will--for salvation to occur over the course of our faith journey. Salvation is not a static event for us United Methodists, but a life-long process, the sign of which is begun in baptism. The assurance of salvation is found in the sign of baptism. If anyone asks you if you’re a “born again Christian,” if you’re saved, or if you’re going to heaven, you tell them “Yes, Praise God, I was born into the family of God in baptism.” Though few of us can yet claim to have been perfected by salvation, all of us can be assured that God is working on it, along with the best of our efforts to repent. God is not finished with us yet, but He is on the job working on it.
Baptism is a once-for-all event that usually begins the moment we are baptized, even if in infancy, but takes our whole life to finish. There is no expiration date on your baptism. It is as valid today as it was that first day. Every day we must live our baptisms. Every day we must respond to God’s gracious gift of love in our lives.

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We, once a year in the church, do a baptismal reminder. We don't remember the moment we are baptized, but remember that we have been baptized in God's Spirit. This is the purpose of it. We should practice baptismal reminder at least once annualy, but I do it everyday (this is why the Blessed Water, mom and dad!).

Just remember that you should choose the forms of worship and the form of water baptism that is right for you, just do in our Merciful and Loving God's name.